A Single Tear Hits the Hardwood Floor, Flooding theRoom With Sadness

A year ago today I was sent to the mental hospital. I don't know how to react. Good day, everyone.

My Matitude, Not Gratitude, for Manksgiving, Not Thanksgiving

Most people would probably guess that I am ungrateful considering I am a spoiled millennial. Well, please venture into the world of words and try not to get lost in the sauce literature before you.

The roar of my stomach has been ceased yet again, slayed by the hunters we call food. My gratitude goes forward to all the farmers out their who grow their crops, stores that sell the wonderful nourishment, and my parents for being so gracious as to feed me each and every day.

The echoing footsteps of the doctors, nurses, and therapists that nursed me back to health fill my ears. My thankfulness goes out to all the wonderful saints that saved me from death's hand, and brought me back to serenity. My mind may not fully be vanquished of the malice, but I am in a much better place than year(s) ago.

The whirring of a blow dryer and the heat of the dryer bless my face. My heart goes out in gratitude and thankfulness to the lovely Nadine, who has cut, buzzed, snipped, and dye at this rat's nest a call a head of hair. She has defined my persona, and I cannot begin to thank her.

Melanie Martinez's voice spins around and around like a carousel, her voice gracing our ears like a songbird straight from the heavens themselves. I have never ending thankfulness for music, specifically, Melanie Martinez's music. Sometimes notes and chords can fill a void that other things can't.

The overheating of my phone alerts me that my antisocial social life must take a quick pause, for I, sadly, cannot ide on my phone forever. I have never been more thankful for my internet friends, They have helped me through tough times and have filled the empty void where my heart should be.

Children's laughter fills the air, their screams of joy frolicking among the sky. I am thankful that in this dreary world we always have something to make us laugh. Laughter can brighten up a stormy day, it's truly one of God's greatest gifts.

A real family is like a bear den. You have mama bear, the cubs, and the protective, unwavering bond of a family. I don't know where I'd be without my lovely family, but I'm glad I have them.

Of course, how can one make a post such as this without mentioning their best friend? Acacia is the highlight of my life. She makes getting up everyday worth it. Acacia has pushed me, supported me, and has stood by me through so much. I couldn't imagine a life without her.

As we are coming to end of my gratitude list, I have to say, I am pretty tired. I am so grateful to have a bed to sleep and a roof over my head. It's the little things in life that count.

You have no idea how much I love the teachers at my school. Their unwavering support and willingness to teach me has only made me a better person. I strive to be just like them one day.

Sadly, my little list is over. I would like to end it on a sweet note, so here I go. The last thing I am grateful for is my life. I was chosen out of a million eggs; I made it into the top 5. My mom could have just settled for one child, but no. My mother decided she wanted twins, and that's what she got. I am so thankful to be hereon this Earth today because in the end, no matter how suicidal I feel, life is a gift.

A Mood Not Food Post

We were asked, what did we eat for breakfast today? The rumbling in my tummy should give you an answer. The roar in my stomach demanded what we write if we didn't eat anything. Oh, alas, another easy writing assignment.
I did not eat breakfast. I do not like eating. I hate it. Eating makes me feel like I've sinned. Each bite is pure agony. Eat chewing motion is like I'm being punched and slapped. Eat swallow of chewed up mush can be considered equivalent to failing myself. Eating is my downfall.
Was I hungry? Very. Did I mind the feeling? I loved it. Did the growling of my stomach sadden me? More like elate me. Feeling hungry is a comfort for me, it makes me feel stronger.
You're probably wondering why I didn't eat. Not only does eating upset me, it's the one thing I have control of in my life. When I'm stressed I result to not eating. When I'm depressed I result to not eating. When I'm feeling anything negative I result to not eating. Another topic was what our comfort food was. My comfort food is no food. Being without food makes me feel better.
I do not like this blog post. In fact, I hate it. I hate talking about food. I hate talking about my eating unless I feel the need to vent about it. Food is not my friend. I am very sorry, Mrs. Joyner, if this did not fit your needs, but this is the best I can give.
Right now is a really tough time in my life, especially with my eating. I have been eating regularly once again, for those who care, except for the moment. I am working through this.

If any of you relate to any part of this please see someone. Stay safe.

Now, I shall dread the whispers that shall crawl behind me. Have a great day!

We Don't Do Math In Math Class 3 part 2

What kind of bologna is this?!" cried the officer. He flipped page after page, seeing basically an exact replica of the Burn Book from Swan Girls. 
"Oh, officer! That mean, mean man over there wrote this book, I saw him do it!" Ron Swanson wailed, rolling himself onto the officer's desk and pointing at Swan "The Swan" Swanson. The officer guffawed at the sight and pushed Ron Swanson off his desk. "You're swansane!" swanned the officer. "Swan "The Swan" Swanson isn't the culprit! He's been by my side ever since we got married last June!"
Ron Swanson fell to the floor. "Swan "The Swan" Swanson is a swansexual? This so going ton my blog," Ron Swanson swanned. "Yeah, yeah," grunted the officer as he swancuffed Ron Swanson. "You're going in the swanhouse for now.."

We Don't Learn Math In Math Class 3

Ron Swanson was swanning around on his swan while swanning the swanning of swan. Ron Swanson wanted to sue someone. But who to sue? Sure, here in 2016 people will sue each other for almost anything. But what would Ron Swanson sue for? This swan was swannier than me? That swan swanned? No. He'll lose before the case before the judge even swan it!
Sighing, Ron Swanson looked through his Swan school yearbook. He originally swanned for it to be a swan hit list for when he was a senior swan so he would be the oldest living swan of his year. Now, of course, manslaughter is illegal, and I am currently questioning my sanity, but who cares?! This is We Don't Learn Math In Math Class!
In defeat, Ron Swanson swanned over to the fridge and swanned out a carton of Swanny Road ice cream. He sat in front of his small television, ready to Netflix and Chill. Ron put on his favorite swan, Mean Swans. 
"That's it! The Swan Book! I'll pull a Regina Swan on the first person I see and sue them! This is best idea I've ever swanned!" Ron Swanson swanned swannily. 
Ron Swanson got to work, writing a bunch of swan stuff about all the characters from Swan Girls and, of course, himself. Ron knew just who to blame. Swan "The Swan" Swanson. He had a better beak than Ron Swanson. 
Ron Swanson finally finished and hopped into his Swan car. He speedily drove over to the police station and rushed right in. Ron Swanson threw himself onto the desk, book in hand, and wailed, "Oh, you wouldn't believe what horrid stuff was written about me in this!"
The police officer gave Ron Swanson a wary look and slowly opened the book..

To Be Continued

Mestions Not Questions

Do blobfish love?

What is a blobfish's favorite food?

Do blobfish have feelings?

Are blobfish loyal?

Do blobfish ever file divorces?

Do blobfish know how to dance?

Do blobfish ever wish they had a mustache?

These are the questions I asked my doctor to stall him from giving me my flu shot.

But now, I'm curious..

Mitches Not Stitches

A very lovely teacher of mine had us write a mini auto-biography. In mine, she commented that I should expand on why "Stitches" by Shawn Mendes is such an important song to me. Yes, believe it or not, I, Melissa, the scene queen emo thing, loves Shawn Mendes. 
Before you go and make assumptions, the meaning of the song has nothing to do with it's importance with me. I did not have a boyfriend that left me and made me so heartbroken I related to a song. Now, I'm about to get really deep, and possibly triggering

Triggering Content Up Ahead

I have depression and anorexia. I am comfortable talking about this and almost show it with pride to show how far I've come. Well, on November 20, 2015 I was hospitalized into a mental hospital. Yes, ha-ha, I'm insane. I would prefer to not have a repeat of those rumors going around. Anyway, I was there for my suicidal tendencies and refusal to eat. My entire stay I ate next to nothing and constantly had suicidal thoughts. You're probably wondering how Stitches got jumbled up into this mess. 

During that time Stitches was on the radio a lot. I sang along every time and loved that song to death. While I was on my way to be evaluated the last song I heard was Stitches. It was stuck in my head. And during each grueling moment of therapy and coaxing me to eat that song never left my head. It never went away. I think it was also destiny that this song came into my life because when I was discharged on November 26, 2015 the first song that came on was Stitches.
I don't know what it is about the song, but whenever I hear I can't help but feel stronger. Stitches has made a big impact about my life, and I am thankful for it.