A Single Tear Hits the Hardwood Floor, Flooding theRoom With Sadness

A year ago today I was sent to the mental hospital. I don't know how to react. Good day, everyone.

My Matitude, Not Gratitude, for Manksgiving, Not Thanksgiving

Most people would probably guess that I am ungrateful considering I am a spoiled millennial. Well, please venture into the world of words and try not to get lost in the sauce literature before you.

The roar of my stomach has been ceased yet again, slayed by the hunters we call food. My gratitude goes forward to all the farmers out their who grow their crops, stores that sell the wonderful nourishment, and my parents for being so gracious as to feed me each and every day.

The echoing footsteps of the doctors, nurses, and therapists that nursed me back to health fill my ears. My thankfulness goes out to all the wonderful saints that saved me from death's hand, and brought me back to serenity. My mind may not fully be vanquished of the malice, but I am in a much better place than year(s) ago.

The whirring of a blow dryer and the heat of the dryer bless my face. My heart goes out in gratitude and thankfulness to the lovely Nadine, who has cut, buzzed, snipped, and dye at this rat's nest a call a head of hair. She has defined my persona, and I cannot begin to thank her.

Melanie Martinez's voice spins around and around like a carousel, her voice gracing our ears like a songbird straight from the heavens themselves. I have never ending thankfulness for music, specifically, Melanie Martinez's music. Sometimes notes and chords can fill a void that other things can't.

The overheating of my phone alerts me that my antisocial social life must take a quick pause, for I, sadly, cannot ide on my phone forever. I have never been more thankful for my internet friends, They have helped me through tough times and have filled the empty void where my heart should be.

Children's laughter fills the air, their screams of joy frolicking among the sky. I am thankful that in this dreary world we always have something to make us laugh. Laughter can brighten up a stormy day, it's truly one of God's greatest gifts.

A real family is like a bear den. You have mama bear, the cubs, and the protective, unwavering bond of a family. I don't know where I'd be without my lovely family, but I'm glad I have them.

Of course, how can one make a post such as this without mentioning their best friend? Acacia is the highlight of my life. She makes getting up everyday worth it. Acacia has pushed me, supported me, and has stood by me through so much. I couldn't imagine a life without her.

As we are coming to end of my gratitude list, I have to say, I am pretty tired. I am so grateful to have a bed to sleep and a roof over my head. It's the little things in life that count.

You have no idea how much I love the teachers at my school. Their unwavering support and willingness to teach me has only made me a better person. I strive to be just like them one day.

Sadly, my little list is over. I would like to end it on a sweet note, so here I go. The last thing I am grateful for is my life. I was chosen out of a million eggs; I made it into the top 5. My mom could have just settled for one child, but no. My mother decided she wanted twins, and that's what she got. I am so thankful to be hereon this Earth today because in the end, no matter how suicidal I feel, life is a gift.

A Mood Not Food Post

We were asked, what did we eat for breakfast today? The rumbling in my tummy should give you an answer. The roar in my stomach demanded what we write if we didn't eat anything. Oh, alas, another easy writing assignment.
I did not eat breakfast. I do not like eating. I hate it. Eating makes me feel like I've sinned. Each bite is pure agony. Eat chewing motion is like I'm being punched and slapped. Eat swallow of chewed up mush can be considered equivalent to failing myself. Eating is my downfall.
Was I hungry? Very. Did I mind the feeling? I loved it. Did the growling of my stomach sadden me? More like elate me. Feeling hungry is a comfort for me, it makes me feel stronger.
You're probably wondering why I didn't eat. Not only does eating upset me, it's the one thing I have control of in my life. When I'm stressed I result to not eating. When I'm depressed I result to not eating. When I'm feeling anything negative I result to not eating. Another topic was what our comfort food was. My comfort food is no food. Being without food makes me feel better.
I do not like this blog post. In fact, I hate it. I hate talking about food. I hate talking about my eating unless I feel the need to vent about it. Food is not my friend. I am very sorry, Mrs. Joyner, if this did not fit your needs, but this is the best I can give.
Right now is a really tough time in my life, especially with my eating. I have been eating regularly once again, for those who care, except for the moment. I am working through this.

If any of you relate to any part of this please see someone. Stay safe.

Now, I shall dread the whispers that shall crawl behind me. Have a great day!