I am Mot Not Not a Murderer

I am not a murderer, let's get that out of the way. But I am a Godfather-in-training. Mu beautiful, wonderful Auntie Mary Jo is a widower. Lately, she's been getting back into the dating scene. That was until Frank came into her life. 
He was a decent guy, I approved of him. Of course, he messed that up. He was too much of a little baby to do it in person. He waited until she was out of town and broke up with her OVER TEXT. I am now plotting his murder. No one messes with a Curth and gets away with it.
Instead of going for the direct kill we're going to first go for the guy who helps him do his taxes. No taxes means no life. We are slowly going to deteriorate his life until he's just a sad, old man. We will never touch the man himself because we're going to hurt him just enough to hurt him, but not enough to kill him. Of course, this is all for good reason.
I do not like to get my hands dirty, so I will be needing someone to kill for me. I also need someone to cover up everything for me. I'll be telling everyone what to do because I'm the only person qualified to pull off a murder. I don't need anyone to tell me what to do. In fact, if you do, I'll knock you down a peg.

I am the Godfather.

p.s. This is just a joke!!