We Don't Learn Math In Math Class 2

Welcome back to another episode of We Don't Learn Math In Math Class! We left off with Ron Swanson being a lonely bum because he can't get a girlfriend.


Ron Swanson could be seen swanning around is his small abode. Ron Swanson wasn't a happy swan. No one has commented on his Swander profile! He had a revealing profile pic and everything, let's just say his tail feathers are quite.. winky face. Why did no swan want to love him? He was a good swan. Well, most of the time.
In an act of defeat Ron Swanson checked his profile one last time. Gasp! What's this? A lady swan has replied to his Swander profile! She wants to go swanning at 7! Ron checked the clock, realizing he only had 30 minutes, he raced to get ready.
Ron Swanson was perched on the riverbed, waiting for swanny date. She arrived and Ron took a good look at her.She was just the average swan. A real plain Jane of the swan world.
"Well, hello. I'm Ron Swanson," Ron Swanson said gruffly. His date looked him in the eye and said monotonously, "I am Kitty Swan. The pleasure is all mine." An awkward silence filled the air. Neither swan knew what to say. Thankfully, a waiter came and placed their orders. Ron Swanson ordered a pot roast and Kitty Swan ordered asparagus. Just asparagus. Ron, what even is your love life anymore? A swan who orders just asparagus? This is sad, Ron, even for you.
Another painfully awkward silence filled the air. Come on, Ron! Your dating game is weak! I bet you my dead grandpa can run around the 3 times before you could ever get a girlfriend! Anyhow, their food arrived. They both ate in silence, but Ron decided their vow of silence was no longer! "Did you know that asparagus makes your urine smell?"
Kitty Swan looked him dead in the eye as she stood up, "Listen, I accidentally swiped right on you, so seeing how you probably haven't gone on a date in, like, 60 years I figured I'd be a nice person for once." Ron could feel his heart shatter in two. He knew from the moment he saw her that they were soulmates! "Oh, and one last thing," Kitty Swan slipped out of her swan costume t reveal her feline sef. "I'm a cat."
With that said she scampered away into the night as Ron Swanson watched The Swan is Right and ate Swanilla ice cream. Pssh, loser.